That Singular Moment

That singular moment  ~ when you said “Yes!” instead of “No.”

When you turned left instead of right ~

When you chose to leave the table instead of waiting. He still may return…

When you acted on a hunch, and it was right and you WON!

When you thought to say ‘goodbye’ because you didn’t know if you could say ‘hello’ ever again…

When someone said, “Give them a call, you never know…” and you did. Or you didn’t. The opportunity, another like so many, gone with the wind…

When your phone mistakens Saarbrucken for West Hollywood and you think, Fun! this may never happen again, so you capture it. Or you capture the magical 3:33 at exactly that time.

You looked into the eye of a hibiscus and thought, gorgeous! How could anything be more gorgeous! And you stop on your walk to photograph it. It only takes a second.

IMG_0656 IMG_0660 IMG_0682

All singular moments.

I am the Queen of Procrastinating away singular moments. Or getting up before the time is right. I have also said YES and had tremendously marvelous adventures too. I am not a total loser in that sense, but if I thought how many times I could have…

But I can’t.

What if I had waited to speak to Daniel Day-Lewis when he returned to the bar at the Four Seasons the day after he won his Academy Award for “My Left Foot”? What if I had actually written that screenplay for Anthony Perkins I always said I would. Before he died. And another friend…What if I had sent that email that I said I should? Now he is gone too….

“We can’t vainly regret what has already past…” My darling friend Alecia wrote this to me on a card when we were in high school. I have kept it on my various Frigidaires ever since. A daily reminder. Act NOW or forever hold your peace.

So may times I have said, “No…just forget it…” But why? Fear? Afraid of the glory that could come? The outcome I don’t know and could never predict but use as an excuse to…

What if I had fought for something I chose to give up on?

How many times a day are we plagued with thoughts like this? Perhaps not in total regret, but definitely reminders of how fleeting singular moments are. Moments that define or shape our existence in some way. Sometimes we make the exact right choice, and it is exhilarating! Each of these singular moments, alter our destinies forever.

I have many defining moments when I chose to say YES! and thereby set my life on a course of glorious adventure as well. I know I am exactly where I am supposed to be. God and Goddess have a plan for me.

They will nudge me and you and gift us with moments to choose. How we choose to take that moment and do with what we will, is up to us.

I look at life as a hike up a Los Angeles canyon. There are many routes in Runyon ~ ‘the road’ ~ ‘hard’~ or ‘the hill’ ~ all ultimately lead to Mulholland Drive, but which one will you take? The adventure will be different, but eventually, if you keep on it, you will get to the same locale. You choose your route to arrive at your destination.

I’m thinking about this today. Every moment of our lives we make a decision. What will that decision be? What will be my perspective on it once it’s made? Can I own it and be proud? Or will I panic and think, ‘there I go again!’

Embrace. Reflect. Decide. Do. Be. Fly. That singular moment may be defining. How you respond will be the key. Now turn it.

The Dinner Party

I wrote “THE DINNER PARTY” in 1998, when I was Alicia Diane Gargaro. (I was married to Eduardo Magaña in 2007 and made my name even longer!) In 1998, I sent it out then for publishing consideration, including to Chronicle Books in San Francisco, and to other artists over the years to consider illustrating it. Now that my company, Pictures of Los Angeles, Inc. is publishing, it will come to larger fruition soon, until then, I share it in its original form here. It is one of my absolute favorites!

Dinner 2

She had Happiness to dinner quite often

and Joy and Peace too

Although Peace was rather quiet

she was known to sit and laugh and laugh with Giggling

for Giggling was Darling and Darling loved Friend

Friend had many arms

arms that Hugging filled with Kisses

and you know Kisses was a Flirting for Flirting loved Winks

Winks, he loved to reveal Twinkling

and Twinkling was very close to Eyes and Eyes had Touch

Touch gathered Energy

and Energy, she was wild with Passion!

Passion knew no End

for End was not invited

When End found out, he ran to Anger

Anger was rather hurt too

He slowly approached Need and Need told Express

and Express led them to Understanding

Understanding as she does, went to Bounds

for she knew Bounds was a welcome fellow for Occasion

Occasion herself was very Grand

Grand adored Exquisite and Exquisite yearned for Exotic

Exotic was Exciting and Exciting was fond of Flying

Well you know when Flying was around

Everything was up in the Air

You could never tell with her

Air liked to wrap the Sun around her and be Warm

But when they were at Difference, Difference brought Chance

Chance saw Special and Special, he was Charming

Charming she adored for he made her Smile Inside

Smile Inside was so large

Everyone could sit on her Lap

And Lap was a Wonderful place

Well you know Wonderful was the Life of the party

Because she would gather everyone to Dancing, and

Dancing was the most Beautiful

Although Beautiful was most certainly a Sight, Sight

saw All and All of course was married to Breathe

Breathe took one look at Sigh and Sigh thought of

Knowing and although rather simple,

Knowing was Amazing for Amazing became Life

and Life came from Love

And when Love met the hostess for the very first time

Do you know what they were Creating?

Their own three Very Magic Lights,






Symmetry and the Source

What is Symmetry?

The sources say it is ~ Regularity ~ Balance ~ Equilibrium ~ Evenness ~ Proportion


This morning, I mixed a little of my Urth Caffe Manhattan Mudd coffee with a splash of 7-Eleven’s Exclusive Blend to heat it up. I’m at the Laundromat at 6:30am and a gal’s got to do what a gal’s got to do to keep her coffee hot!

Part of me went, “Gurrl, you don’t mix the Manhattan with the 7-Eleven!” the other part of me –(Full disclosure: I have a Gemini Moon – hence, many voices, many thoughts!) – said, “Why not? Who cares? Do you, Alicia? Not really. Mix it up! We’re all one! This coffee is you, you are this coffee, it doesn’t matter what ‘special’ water blended it, it ultimately all comes from the same SOURCE!

Some coffee enthusiasts might say the water is the key to good coffee. Others, the beans. Others, the cup, others, the place. Others, the time of day. Other’s how hot it is. Being an L.A. Goddess who does in fact like to mix it up quite a bit – different days I go to different coffee places. King’s Road, Urth, or Euro Café Beverly Hills on Sunset. Monday mornings I meet my peeps at Starbucks, then we go to a meeting. Hence, those locales are all in my hood. I’ll do LA Mill if I’m in the Silverlakia. But since I am primarily WeHo – they’re where I go. We all go to different places to get the same thing.


Symmetry and Source – They are parents – forces that raise us to new levels, whether they are your birth parents or family of choosing or have been chosen for us, they help us grow. Different energies. One source. Many designs. When we strengthen our source, we can choose our DESIGN. We can strive to be in balance, to live with evenness to plant two feet and stretch out two arms – and if you are specially designed and don’t have one or the other or neither – you stretch out your spirit in that way.



Now, I have not been having the best week in some ways. I’ve felt out of balance, wobily in my ability to do my job correctly, to perform to my best. I’m not seeing the details. I have been rushing. I haven’t been focusing on perhaps, the right aspect. All of it, throwing off my symmetry. This morning when I awoke and realized I overlooked one more thing, I just about lost it. Then, for no reason that I can explain, the panic left me. The feeling that the source came in and strengthened me.

Reminded me, we, it, you, all of the energy of the world, we are all ONE.

I also know that not every situation is perfectly balanced – on the surface. But all situations have a certain symmetry. But I trust the situation will be what it is meant to be. It is of its own design.

I can’t control outcomes. I can only choose how to respond. I can choose to perceive with balanced energies, even if the outcome is a bit mixed up. With each experience I learn.

From the depths of my being, my source, I can choose to trust and have faith. I connect my symmetry to my source and live from both. Living exuberantly there in! I can appreciate that different designs can come together to create a certain symmetry, but be reminded, that, once again, it is all from the same SOURCE.

Like my Ventura Beach symmeTREES here! They light shines around them. They are balanced and they are unique, as are the lamp posts between them, pointing in two different directions.


ENERGY. SPIRIT. LIGHT. GOD or GODDESS. Who ever and what ever you perceive that to be for you. Tap in today. Meditate today. Envision your source and design your SYMMETRY, honor all the MIXings that make up WHO YOU ARE and CELEBRATE YOU. Blessed Be!

Spring Into to Passionate, Grand and Glorious Perspective!

What is perspective, my Darlings, but really, our own thinking, our own perceiving thus, making it so?

When it may not be?
Is it really?

And actually… be, we may not ~

DoubtIsJSTYSWhispy Wall

Alas, what about Passion? What Perception? What Love? What Seeing? What Believing? What about Art? And Movement? And Feeling? And that Soul Moment that makes you pull over, park the car and take a picture just because the image caught your eye as you were driving by? I did that this morning – with the green reeds. How gorgeous are they? And the typewriter questioning Doubt? Driving along Sunset Boulevard again, just this morning. I snapped it when we were stopped momentarily at a red light. The Lemon, this a.m. The Trees, colors stacked like a Rothko, taken even earlier today at sunrise ~

So much of what we do, see, learn, take in, contemplate, churn in our brains is just cahooey anyway! And at the same time, it is gospel! The words and images of life that make up our own experience. We spring into our lives, bounding into adventure. Each one of our journeys are nothing like another’s. That is the miracle, the magic and the mayhem of each of our individual existences!

As the saying goes, it depends on how we look at it. We embrace the natural wonders of the world and revere great art because it is part of our educational histories and yes – so much traditional art is glorious and great! But there is so much gloriousness that surrounds us that is often discarded as frivolous when in fact, it is SPECTACULAR and AMAZING if we just choose to see it as so.

Lemon Whale

How about his lemon that fell from the tree in my yard? Isn’t it simply divine? It is a lemon whale or is it a swan? What does it look like to you?
What does your every day look like to you?
What is your perspective each morning you awake?
Grand, glorious? Full of life, love and wonder?

Do you spring into your day? Or…

Are you misty blue, sad and fearful? Not sure what will come your way…

Morning Tree
Remember above all things, we get to DECIDE! Isn’t that grand and isn’t that glorious? If my grandmother Cicely O’Donovan were alive, she would light a cigarette, drink a glass of Chardonnay and listen to Rachmaninoff bounce off the canyons of her home in Palos Verdes Estates, high above the Pacific Ocean, with the peacocks in the street yelping “Hello!” Hello! Hello! When we were with her, we saw this as a glorious and grand experience. It’s how I learned to enjoy classical music, chardonnay and cigarettes at quite a young age. Today, I neither smoke or drink, but I still enjoy the perspective, the sound of Rachmaninoff bouncing off the California canyons, the echo, magnificent as if we were in the Disney Concert Hall or the Hollywood Bowl, hearing it played live all around us. It was sheer magnificence, making my spirit soar as it made my grandmother happy indeed! She always decided to have a lovely day. Any other way would bore her completely. And to be bored, dear ones, is not to be done. Think of all you would miss, moment by moment, see to sea!


I have to remind myself of this each day. There are days when I want to be incredulous and throw down and think I may be better than someone or something even. The gall of it all! My own self! I have to check my perspective and WERK! To make it WORK properly for my own Expansion of my own Experience. No one can make me think a certain way. They may inspire me, but I get to choose in the end, how I respond. So today I say, Hey! Here’s and cheers to Spring and to living in a Passionate, Wondrous, Grand and Glorious Perspective! What is yours?

Make it your own!

Happy Spring and Blessed Be!



“Alicia, you can’t go forward in life looking in the rear view mirror!”


“Alicia, even if I don’t want to wear make up one day, I know I have to do it for Roe because he’s the one looking at me. And if you don’t want to wear it, you better rethink that, because there will be others that are going to be looking at you and you want to look your best!”

“Alicia, if I don’t like what someone is wearing, I just smile and say nothing at all.”

“Tammy, what do you think of my dress tonight? I wore it in high school. Isn’t it amazing that it still fits?” She responded, “Alicia, can you help me open this car door?”

I laughed. There was my answer!!


All of these pearl essences of divine wisdom were shared with me by the one and only, Goddess Tammy Faye Bakker Messner. I was blessed to work with her on the documentary we made called “Tammy Faye: Death Defying.” Award-winning filmmakers, Randy Barbato and Fenton Bailey, the brilliant creators of World of Wonder Productions, Inc. – who made the legendary documentary, “The Eyes of Tammy Faye” – together with Tammy, they conceived of the idea of filming Tammy’s journey through her experience with cancer. Tammy wanted to help other people who were going through a similar challenge. It was brought to life for the WE Network in 2004. Wonderful, talented Chris McKim directed and I produced.

Day after day in Matthews, North Carolina – Chris and I would film Tammy as she set about her various forms of treatments. We did yoga together. We sang songs at her organ. We ate frozen yogurt and chased after her little Yorkies when they ran out of the house. Tammy and Roe listened to old records and danced throughout their home.

When we would drive to locations, Tammy would positively exclaim, “Stop the car! We have to go power shopping!” or “I want to go see my friends at the house.” She directed us right to a group of people living in a nursing home, struggling with AIDS. She would sit with them, hold their hands and talk with them. We would shoot for a little bit, then the crew just waited on the porch, watching the sun start to set until Tammy had finished her visit. There were days when Tammy didn’t feel well enough to film. The next day she would get her strength back, make a pan of her famous fudge and tell us to keep shooting. Goddess bless her heart, but she kept on marching forward.

She would say to me time and again, “Alicia, my grandmother Fitzgerald always said to me, ‘Tammy Faye, we have no pity parties! You put on your bootstraps and you keep on walkin’!’”

Goddess Tammy Faye’s birthday is this coming Saturday, March 7th. If she were alive, she would have been only 73 years young. I miss her dearly. The day my husband Eduardo asked me to marry him, it was the morning I was going to see Tammy during the last days of her illness. Ed and I said at the same time, “Let’s ask Tammy to marry us!”


The ring was antique and needed to be reinforced – so not wanting to risk damaging it traveling, I flew to North Carolina wearing the most gigantic, colorfully brilliant, sparkling, fakest purple ring I could find and said, “Look Tammy, Ed asked me to marry him!” Tammy screamed with excitement! (Tammy loved faux, gigantic jewels!) Immediately we started crying. She loved Ed.

I asked, “Will you come to Los Angeles and marry us?”

“Oh, I would love to! I’ve never performed a wedding! It will be my first!”


Tammy hugged and hugged me, sweet little frail beauty that she was at the time. Then we put on her favorite leopard-print dressing gowns, climbed on top of her bed, her husband Roe ordered us cheese pizza, and we laid there with her little dogs and watched Sandra Dee in “Doctor, You’ve Got to Be Kidding!”

It was the last time I saw her. She went to Heaven just about three weeks later.

Thinking of Tammy, I am reminded – we cannot face life without having the seed of belief and faith.

We cannot experience the journey of transformation without taking the first step.
We cannot know what God has in store for us, so we must march forth.

“Tammy, I am in fear because I don’t have a job right now.”

“Alicia, pray to Jesus. Ask him. Tell him exactly what you want. He is with you, every step of the way…”

Tammy would start praying right there over the phone for me ~ flowers of light and beauty and loveliness came forth from her, flowing over the mobile towers of Los Angeles as I walked down Larchmont Boulevard…tears flowing through me, joy overtaking fear ~ because Tammy shared her faith and made it so!

March is the month of FAITH. Tammy had tremendous faith. She never waivered from it. Even in her darkest moments, she BELIEVED and DECLARED that GOD WAS WITH HER. Jesus, her dearest friend, was always by her side. She new she would be taken care of. She knew she had a higher purpose. She had total belief that God was showing her the way, day after day.


I didn’t set out this morning to write about Tammy. I did set out to write about faith. The faith we all need to help get us through the day. Sometimes, we just need a little burst of LIGHT to encourage us, “March forth, Darling ~ You can do it!”


But I sat here in the sunrise and I could feel Tammy all around me. I wish I could hug her and say, “Gorgeous, THANK YOU! It’s because of you, TAMMY, that I don’t let fear grip me, I just put on my bootstraps and I keep on walking!” We all march forth!





Cloud City ~ A Short Story

“Is this Heaven?”

Cloud11-1“No, dear,” the older woman pulled her glasses to the bridge of her nose and peered at her. “This is Cloud City.”

“Oh.” I looked around. “It looks like all the pictures of Heaven…” I trailed off. Obviously, there weren’t…

“Darling,” she cut off my thoughts, “they don’t let the paparazzi in Heaven, if you know what I mean?”

I nodded. “Of course.”

“Too much shenanigans,” she walked a bit forward towards an especially puffy bit and had a seat on it. “Not with the fighting and the yelling and the name calling…always the name calling. As if any star could hear their name clear as day on the step and repeat. They can’t. It’s just too much. Too many cameras and not enough real, intriguing photos, you know what I mean? Who would be the judge about what would be considered art or not?”

“Of course,” I whispered, repeating myself like a pap desperate for a look.


“Now,” she looked at her clipboard. “You sew.” She pulled her glasses down again. “Really? Do real people still do that today?”

“Of course,” I turned to her. She nodded and returned to her clipboard. “You had some success as a rhythmic gymnast.”

“When I was young…ger,” I said.

“Honey,” she pulled her glasses down again to look at me once more. “Young. Younger. Youngish. Age is nothing but a matter of mind. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. You know what I mean? Make sense? Can you feel yourself in the rhythm of the gym? Of the gymnast experience? Can you feel that ribbon swirling all round you over and over again? The adulation of the crowd? The tight leotard? The hair pulled back into oblivion? Can you?”

“Of course,” I nodded. “I remember it well.”

“If you did it then, you do it now.” She returned to her clipboard. “The Red Onion is long gone. Sadly. I always enjoyed those mini-discos they held in their center atriums. So you were what? A waiter there?”

“A server,” I corrected.

“You waited on people?”


“Chips, salsa, veggie burritos, the whole nine yards?”
“Yes, of course, whatever they wanted.”
“Weren’t they wonderful?”
I nodded again then looked around.

“What do we do now?”



“What?” she looked at me. “Here in Cloud City?”
“Well,” she leaned back, crossing her legs and finally pulled her glasses all the way off her face. “There are places to go and people to meet.”
“Really?” I looked around. All I could see where clouds, and more clouds and no one besides this woman.

“What is your name?” I asked. “I don’t think that we actually introduced ourselves.” I put out my hand.

“Clara Storm,” she offered hers.

“Chicky Sange,” I smiled shaking hers.

“I know.” She put her glasses back on her nose. “Now, Chicky, sex is also quite popular at Cloud City.”

“I would imagine it would be.” What else was there to do?

“But even up here, we need to be discreet.”

“I see.”
“Well, you probably don’t see, see,” she looked at me. “In Cloud City, we are fine with whatever you want to do, it’s your business, your life. However…” she stood up. “See that airplane right there?”
I turned. “Yes.”
“They can’t see us, but we can see them.”



“Yes, we have a deal with the FAA. All the windows on airplanes are treated with a special film. When people look out of their airplane seat, all they see are puffy white clouds, when they actually pass over Cloud City. Sometimes, it’s just farm and mountain and what have you. But when they are actually flying over Cloud City, they just see what they think are … you know, clouds.” She took her glasses and gestured with them. “But we’re all here. They are fantasizing about us, about what it would be like to actually live in Cloud City and they don’t even know that we are here, walking around having a fine time.”
“How did you broker that deal?” I asked.

“With the airline pilots association.” She walked a few feet towards an oncoming plane. “Wave to these lost souls. Go on.” She waved. I did too.

“They can feel our essence.” Clara turned to me. “They feel we are here that’s why they are drawn to want to climb right out of that seat and come live here. But we can’t have that. If people actually saw us, it would create unspeakable havoc. So we are invariably invisible to them.”

“And the airline pilots? They live here too?”

“Of course,” she said. “It’s their payback for flying above and beyond for so many years. Imagine being them, day in and day out, seeing, feeling all that goes on in Cloud City and not be able to get out and run free and join the world above the world. Where we are carefree and a-live! You know what I mean? It’s the least they could have.”

“Is Sully Sullenberger here?”
“Not yet,” she said, taking up her clipboard. “But you can bet he will be.”
“I’d like to meet him.” I said. “I enjoyed his book.”
“Yes…well,” she looked at me. “Not yet. All in good time, Chicky.” She tilted her head and looked at me. “Do you prefer to be referred to as ‘Chicky’ going forward or ‘Chilanda’ as is your given name?”
“I was never called ‘Chilanda’ so Chicky is fine.”
“You were named a name you were never called?” asked Clara.

“Yes,” I stood taller. “It happens. Many people are Christened one name and called another.”
“I thought only the preppies did that and that movement was over in the 80’s.”
“It…people still do.” I had many friends with names that were not the formal ones. Who cares anyway? “Clara,” I got stronger. “I’d like to get on to whatever it is I should be doing here.”
“Always the server,” she said, looking at her clipboard.

“I like to stay busy,” I said.

“Well, busy is as busy does, I guess,” she said. “Then you may go to it.”
“Where?” I looked around.
“Cloud City is all yours.” She swept her arm around the surround.

I swallowed. “I’m sorry, I don’t understand. Where is everyone else?”

“Where you will find them, of course,” said Clara.

I took a deep breath.
“So I’m to make my own amusement?”
“Your own purpose, my dear,” she corrected me.

How am I supposed to find anyone to do anything with?
“I can just start walking and hopefully, run into someone else to make something of…something else?” I didn’t know how to finish the sentence.

“You have to believe, Chicky,” said Clara. “Believe, my dear. The world is your oyster. Cloud City is what you make of it.”

I just might rightly go crazy in Cloud City. I started to panic.

“Don’t.” Clara placed her arm on mine. “Please have some decorum. Pull yourself together and get on with it. We all  – must get on with it!” She threw her arm into the air.

I nodded again. “Very well.”
“Good!” exclaimed Clara. “That’s the spirit!” She leaned into me. “Literally!” She took a deep breath. “Setting people up on Cloud City is always an illuminating experience. Some people are gung ho and others, tails between the legs with fear. But fear is nothing but false evidence appearing real, so there is no sense in storing that up for the winter. You are not a squirrel. You are a BEING. So go, be! Enjoy yourself. There’s lots to see and do and do and see. If you open your eyes. Have fun!”

With that, Clara was gone and I found myself on my own. I took one step forward and began to traverse, the fluffy white substance all around me. Ahead was a castle it seemed, carved right into the atmosphere. I set my eyes and began to live in Cloud City.



Be Your Own Valiant Time!

LoveMeHeartMouse HeartPoofs2 With LOVE and LIGHT and JOY, I wish you a HAPPY VALENTIMES DAY!!

I always say “Valentimes” not because I think like a child or act like a child – or perhaps sometimes I do! – But I think of this day as a ‘time’ when we are in active awareness of the idea of LOVE.

Now yes, it’s See’s and John Kelly Chocolates galore. It’s cards and hugs and flowers – Oh goodness! The flowers my husband Eduardo brought to me yesterday are just DELICIOUS! They are so gorgeous! Our entire home is absolutely divine smelling! We wake up on Valentimes with that loveliness. Just marvelous! THAT’s why you bring home beaucoup des fleurs mes amies!!! – Here’s to zillions of STARGAZERS!!

It is a TIME to celebrate LOVE. To me, EVERY DAY IS VALENTIMES DAY! I celebrate the gorgeousness of love every chance I get. It’s my love for Eduardo. It’s love for my family, my awesome, brilliant and bad-ass nephews who make my world just twirl in imagination and thought. It’s my love for writing and reading fantastic books. It’s my friends who light up my every day. It’s travel, and adventure and the wonderful long walk. Visiting a friend in hospital, smelling roses along the boulevard. It’s the bees in the stamens, it’s a colorful movie and the art of my friends, like Miguel Osuna, watching strangers look deep onto the canvas and wondering what inspired the work. And me, standing along side, listening to their reactions, then I turn and lift my eyes to Miguel with a giant smile of glee as I eat licorice chews and drink Italian mandarin orange soda, happy as a clam.

It’s hearling the nightbirds waking the world at 4:44 am as the angels surround us swirling in the sunrise and the sunset. It’s the ocean, over and over again. LOVE IS ALL. It is INTUITION and your brilliant new IDEA and it’s all of MANIFESTING OUR IDEAS. THAT IS LOVE. When you HONOR your GENIUS, you are having a VALEN TIME. You are VALIANT and FEARLESS and FORTHRIGHT. You are AMAZING!

Today is a time of manifestation of making love a part of your every MOMENT. BE IN LOVE when you act. It will exude from you. BE IN JOY. BE IN PEACE. BE IN PROSPERITY. BE IN GRATITUDE. BE IN FULLFILLMENT. BE IN YOUR OWN MAGICAL, MYSTICAL, VALIANT TIME!

And love, simply love.



More adventure to be discovered in Miss Fancy Pants

God Is My Ice Capades Partner

You Are MagicWhen I walk down the street and see marveilleux messages such as these, I know that I am BLESSED BEYOND! So many thrilling moments happen during each day and how I REACT to them is the MAGIC!

The other morning, I was thinking about God. Goddess. Creatrix. Higher Poweress. However, you may say, feel or think of He, She or It, Bless and Bless! For now, for the sake of visualization, I shall share the thought that God is my Ice Capades Partner!

Whenever I am down, he lifts me up, twirls me, spots me, dips me and dances with me. We are both in GORGEOUS SPANGLY SEQUINS REALNESS and we are TWIRLING and SASHAYING across the ice of our every day. Sometimes it is slippery, sticky, diggy and dirty. Sometimes its as smooth as glass, reflective, shiny and new. We have MUSIC and LIGHTS and MAGIC and we are ice dancing with an AUDIENCE, HELLO! Each time we step into the world, we are greeting our audience, people, so you better WERK that dance!!

I always think ice dancing is magic. How can two people seriously perform those magnificent tricks on sheer ice? How do they fly through the air and turn and spin and carry each other over their heads and fly higher and do crazy mo-fo axels with seamless effortless ease? Can I do that? Yes! I am magic too!

God is doing that with me now. Each day he is my Ice Capades partner! In the past, he was definitely my escapades partner, because I got myself into a few rather fabulous but not always so smart escapades in my life. Oh, the places I have been! Some were amazing, some maybe perhaps, not so. But I learned from each one and I made it through, I am here today to tell you to BELIEVE! GOD HAS YOU!

One my brilliant artistic besties from high school, Angela Hunter Geiss, has an amazing blog showcasing her art – divine and MAJESTIC MANDALAS called the 113 Mandala Journey.

They are literally, MAGIC. When you look into them, you go into an adventure! See how gorgeous they are ~  each one is so unique, colorful and intricate! They look like snowflakes, like ice dreams, like you can escape into them and TRUST with FAITH what will come to you and inspire you as you go into ACCEPTANCE at the ADVENTURE ahead. Allow yourself to VISUALIZE and have a new experience today. Trust that you will be shown a new inspiration and given a new action to share with the world now.

For each time, each moment, we trust we are magic, we are sharing ourselves with the greater world. When we trust God is with us, has us in our dance of each moment, we are lifting ourselves higher than we thought we could fly. When we give ourselves the GIFT OF LOVE, we are honoring the magic inside and saying YES to the PERFORMANCE OF LIFE and making it our own mandala, our own experience, our own gift, our own dance and our own MAGIC to share with the world! Blessed BE!


DECIDE WHAT TO BEThis past Saturday, my husband Eduardo and I enjoyed a lovely breakfast with friends at Zinc in downtown Los Angeles then went to visit the Grand Central Market. I love how it has flourished from when I wrote about it in 1996 for Los Angeles Magazine’s Best of L.A. issue. It was popular at the time, but in a more neighborhoody way. Egg Slut didn’t exist then, so there wasn’t a line going around the bend and all the way down Broadway. Our line at Sarita’s Pupuseria was thankfully shorter, but since they are individually hand-made to order, it probably took as long to finally walk out with them!

Walking in, however, I stopped in the middle of the rainy Broadway as I am want to do. It makes Ed crazy when I do that, but I had to take this photo. The message “DECIDE WHAT TO BE AND GO BE IT” –  I needed to see that. I needed to be reminded. I wanted to share. It is simple. TAKE ACTION.

For years, Nike has told us to just do it. We know that, theoretically, but sometimes fear and whatnot seem to get in the way. Whatnot. It should be called ‘Wantnot” gets in the way. Why? I wonder? Why do we let it? Even I, who can be gripped daily with it during moments of change, I don’t know the answer to that question. But I know how to shake it off and take a deep breath and just say, “That’s false evidence appearing real. You can DO IT!”

I simply go back to my DESIRE. All great inventions of thought and writing start with desire. I have something to say. I have something to create. I want to share myself with another person. I desire to make change. I want my life to be more. Then just do it. Decide what to be and go be it. Take the steps. Make the call. In order to enter the establishment across the street, you have to actually – cross the street – to get there. Go across. Don’t be afraid. Probably best not to stop and take pictures while you’re at it, but I will say that it was a red light…but still. There are those who are not paying attention, who are not looking up and are not in full awareness. Therefore…those of us who are, are going to have to be extra vigilant to watch out for others while we make that stop, take that photo and of course, hug a friend who might be just on the other side, but be watchful at the same time.

I awoke contemplating the desire for manifestation. I published my first book this week. MISS FANCY PANTS is now out in the eWorld. It’s not in paperback yet, but I have a desire to bring it to that form. It takes a certain amount of money that I don’t have at the moment, but I will. It is here; it is coming. It will be and I will manifest that paperback so fast you won’t know what landed at your doorstep. I’ll drop them off at bookstores. I’ll send them to friends across seas. This moment I honor that my desire to make manifest has actually come to FRUITION. It is here MISS FANCY PANTS is here.

I started writing MISS FANCY PANTS in 2001, when I was a drunk, probably truly lonely gal. A friend reading my astrological chart said I needed to practice writing erotica. I went to the library to actually learn what that would look like. Lord child, that was not quite moi…but I could make it funny. I could take sex scenes and maybe spin them in a dreamy, funny way. My first draft had a amusing sex scene that’s no longer in the book because it was dated by the time I got to these last couple of years. I changed it up to something also charming I hope, but it felt more real in its imagination. As my character grew over the years, she became more real, less of a cartoon, so the opening is more of what my character would dream of today, not as she might have in 2001. When she was a drunk hot mess.

The character grows just as I did, in choosing to change my life. I became sober in 2002. I cleared my head and I had the desire to change and make manifest a more vibrant life for myself. I choose to share it with all of you. I am willing to tell my story in person, (the book is fiction – though, it would be fun to have those adventures too!). I speak in front of people. I am happy to tell you the good, the bad and the ugly of it all. And I will also share with you how I made manifest my desire. My desire for CHANGE.

And I have more desires and I have more stories. And I have CLARITY today. I had to DECIDE what to be: a WRITER. An AUTHOR, more precisely. I have written for years. I have been paid to write for magazines like Cooking Light and Los Angeles Times Magazine and various websites the past. I have written on the reality shows I produced. I have several screenplays. But as a PUBLISHED AUTHOR – this is a DESIRE MADE MANIFEST. And…I will do more. This is not all. This is just the beginning. Because I am excited that I have decided WHAT TO BE and I am going and BEING it!

I AM EXCITED! I wake up now and I say:

“I’m deciding what to be and I’m going and being it”

“I know I can accomplish what I dream of, I am doing it now.”

“Whether I think I can or I think I can’t, both are correct, so I KNOW I CAN!”

“I am grateful for my abilities to create what I dream.”

“I am thankful I have a dream.”

“I am grateful for all those who surround me and share their love and support”

“I am thankful for this marvelous new opportunity. Today is a new day!”

In which I can say,

“I make manifest my desire.”

Blessed Be!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! ~ All Will Be Revealed ~

Bonne Année!

I LOVE LOUDLove loud and proud! I love this! I went to look for a photo to share today and just as I opened my iPhoto – this picture of all pictures came up. I (heart) loud! I took it in June of 2014. It revealed itself to me. Or God brought it up, or Goddess did, or the Fates…whoever! Thank you Light Beings! I hear your message loud and clear!

This New Year we should all be loud in our expression of loveliness ~ Gratitude, Sharing, Being. Joyousness, Giving, Understanding and Staying in the Present. I learned this week transitioning from one year to another that, once again, in its right time and place, all will be revealed. I don’t have to rush the Fates or tell them what to do or direct the Angels to their destiny, they got it going on. I’m the one that needs to do my job –  which is to suit up, show up and be UP! Be HAPPY! Be JOYOUS! and Be FREE! and Be a PARTICIPANT, Be ACTIVE, Be GRACEFUL , Be of SERVICE, and Be INSPIRING! and Be LOVE!

Thank YOU for being all that YOU can BE and therefore, lighting the way for all of us to do the same. If we do our part, all will be revealed and the magic that God and our Spirit Guides have in store will be manifest in this Happy Loud Proud New Year 2015! And we’ll see the signs – all around us all the time. Gorgeous indeed! Make it happen, make it loud, make it fabulous and make it now! Blessed Be! xoxo