So! Writing!

So! Writing! YES. Well. Um. TRUTH IS… obviously, from my last posting being from OCTOBER, it hasn’t happened. WHY? The EXCUSES are many. The reasons are few. I can now share that I have an ah-mazing three year-old daughter who has been in our lives since February. Now that the adoption is final and we are a family and I can share this publicly. I am blessed BEYOND. My husband and I are… and she is an ANGEL and a BRILLIANT LIGHT. She teaches me every single day. She is wise, courageous and astute. Funny, thoughtful and caring. She is her own person with her own life and is doing fabulously.

But she is not why I haven’t been writing. She is why I SHOULD BE writing. I am exhausted, true. I haven’t slept – but I haven’t for many years, let alone, months. I have realized many things that are the reasons.

I am distracted constantly. Perhaps I actually may have the adult ADHD – a condition that runs in our family. I also have the disease of alcoholism. But being over fourteen years sober that cannot be a reason. I have the tools to help with this. I don’t wish to drink, but perhaps that which drove me to drink – to hide, to escape, to postpone my life – THAT – for why I chose to drink –may be the reason.

I often feel I am living sideways, I feel – alongside my real self. I have written before that I have a parallel life – one where I am living fully and richly in Europe. I have flashes of it daily, usually from the south of France or the hills of Tuscany. Sometimes I am in London, often in Kensington High Street. Or Paris – walking around the First Arrondissement, headed across the Jardin des Tuileries. Sometimes I’m riding down the Grand Canal in Venice. But I am traveling in Europe all the time. Then I come to and look at my house and think, how did I get here?

And… that is not – alas, as they say, necessarily all good. I kinda should maybe be in my physical body sometimes? I guess. Unless! I know! I am gathering information for my next book?

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In the late hours of night, after all have gone to bed, I have been watching JANE THE VIRGIN, which I am absolutely mad for – it is – by far – THE BEST SHOW ON TELEVISION. But it is also not why I haven’t been writing. Or sleeping. I actually sleep better if I can see an episode.

Though Jane’s own journey about writing has surely helped me to think about my experiences with achieving my own dream to be a successful writer. Watching this show has invigorated me. And I am sure, also, stalled me. Not only for spending all the time watching it – I am currently on Season 3, Chapter Forty-Nine and its taking everything in my power not to binge it straight to catch up in real time. But I digress. I am not writing instead – because the show is brilliant and funny and witty and wise – and is literally, like a show I have always wanted to write – but haven’t. It touches on so many areas of human relationships; it’s really therapy, honestly. And it overwhelms me with its brilliance. So I stall. But … only for the last few moments. Or months, really. Honestly… If I am being honest, truthfully, Jane the Virgin has helped me to awaken, to grow up and to look at myself in ways I may not have wanted to. And it makes me happy. Who doesn’t love a good telenovela to awaken all the senses? I’ve even got my godmother to watch! We think Rogelio looks like my husband, and he does. Handsome, ever so good-looking and funny too!

But it’s Jane’s struggle with her motherhood and writing and living and loving and being that I relate to. It’s the perfect show at the perfect time and I don’t feel so out at sea.

Like Jane, I love to write. And like Jane experiences, it’s hard do focus on it when there is SO MUCH ELSE TO BE DONE.

And there lies the problem. The so much else to be done is what I have grown up with witnessing taking precedence over what MUST BE DONE NOW. Which is live in the present, and not be afraid to take the leap – literally – to do what I am meant to be doing.

So I know what it is, question is – WILL I CHANGE? Change is the only thing that is consistent in life. But I know I can try to halt it for the time being. But deep down, I know I have to FACE IT. And EMBRACE IT. And say, I can MAKE A DIFFERENT CHOICE…but do I? There are thank you notes to write after all…

So! Writing. YES! That! Here I am watching the sunrise on this soon to be promise of rainy day. And I have to try to be honest with myself. Not TRY. BE. It will be a change. There, I’ve said it. Or rather written it. Now I have to take the next indicated ACTION and by God and Goddess, DO WHAT I SAY I AM GOING TO DO! THERE. NOW. OK, SO!…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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BE SUPER ON THE SUPER MOON!

Hello, LOVELIES!!

Tonight rises a most extraordinary SUPER MOON IN ARIES!

Get MOVING, SHAKING, MANIFESTING, DOING, CREATING, BEING IN ACTION!

Take a look from this site, The Earth Child – (and many other interesting articles as well!). With this shift energy we can let go and let Goddess do her bidding with you! Or God if you prefer, Creatrix, Spirit – whatever you want to call the great ENERGY that helps you get to your inner most PEACE and CENTER. We get to HEAL, CONQUER OUR FEARS, we get to say YES! and LET GO OF ALL THAT WHICH DOES NOT SERVE YOU!

We are the ones who direct our lives. We get to make the choices that take the direction that create a RESULT. Make a CHOICE FOR CHANGE today.

So many of us our on our phones, iPads, computers, televisions, smart TVs… you know which device you use – we check our email constantly, we will text before we look up or down at the person speaking to us. We will worry if the answer doesn’t come fast enough. Or we are so distracted, we forget to call our friends, reconnect, use excuses to not reach out when we should. Let this pattern GO! This is the MOON OF CHANGE! GET OUT THERE AND MAKE IT HAPPEN! AND RECONNECT! HEAL. WE HEAL FROM WITHIN.

I am an Aries, so I am extra-INVIGORATED! But we ALL CAN BE ARIES TODAY! Get on a TRIP TO THE MOON and HAVE FUN!! If you in Los Angeles today, get out and join CicLAVia! It’s a marvelous way to connect to with our city and make new friends. Fresh IDEAS, clear AIR and EXCITING MOVEMENT!

Or write 2,000 words. Write a poem! Read a poem. Help a friend. If you owe an apology, make it today. If a friend is sad, be sure to hug them! PAY IT FORWARD. Be of SERVICE! Say, I DO!! Take ACTION to MANIFEST THAT PROJECT! and most of all, be SUPER ON THE SUPER MOON! YAY! BLESSED BE!

 

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What Dreams May Come

WHAT DREAMS MAY COME ~ Indeed, from whence I last wrote – the Summer Solstice on 21 June, so much has passed and so many people dear to me, that I found it not possible to put into words all that I have experienced.

I have also been working in production day and night since start of July, that my hours are consumed, and my attention, not on writing. So it has been. This morning, I return, hoping all that is collected and brought here, makes some sense.

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Sadness becomes us as we face the passing of those close to our hearts and souls. Beautiful Goddess June E. Hudson, gifted artist Richard McKenzie, the one-year anniversary of brilliant Robin Williams’ going on his next great adventure… My amazing Goddess Aunt Molly Gorman who passed away ten years ago today…

Hard to believe any of them are not here on Earth any longer.

People. All brilliant lights. Parents to us all. Death is the next transition that will happen to all of us. It is inevitable. It is certain. It is something to be as celebrated as a birth. Sometimes we organize it for ourselves ~ sometimes it takes us by surprise. Sometimes we experience a long illness for which the end finally comes. However it does, we salute those on their next journey as they step onto the boat to cross over. What awaits them, only those making the crossing get to experience ~ so many have made it and no one has come back saying it isn’t pleasant, so we can believe it must be lovely ~ I like to think so anyway!

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I believe in the afterlife whole-heartedly. I was lucky to see it brought to this life when I worked on What Dreams May Come with Robin Williams. Now THAT was an awesome journey! Life, death, art, color, imagination, recreation, envisioning ~ manifesting to the SUPREME. BELIEVE it is FABULOUS and it IS! KNOW that you have the power to make it what you want it to be, and it IS! Share in your VISION and it IS! ACT AS IF and it IS!

I am indeed, so BEYOND BLESSED to have shared in the energy of so many awesome people over the years. To think how fortunate I was to have shared in the energy of Robin while we made What Dreams May Come! Everyone who worked on the picture will tell you – it radically changed each of our lives in some capacity. Fitting that he was the STAR, for Robin is singular among us, a shining beacon who has always lived on another plane, his sparkling blue eyes radiating brilliance, flying across a stratosphere all his own…

We all have dreams we watch float by. Sometimes we reach out, grab it and ride them like a whale or a dolphin as we dip and dive into the waters of creation. We hold on for dear life as they shoot up into the skies to sprinkle the world with manifestation. Or…if we don’t grab on, we watch them float by and we might wave… Maybe the next, maybe the next! Maybe I won’t be afraid! Maybe…I’LL DO IT!
What I know today is those who have gone on during this summertime, each of them left true works of art. Whether it was their amazing, incredibly creative children and grandchildren, their own works of physical art, or their funny sayings we recall, their personalities, if not always inviting, inspired laughter, hilarious moments we recall. My grandmother, Cicely O’Donovan, said so many incredible bon mots, to recount them would take another entry. In fact, I shall devote one to her another time. She lived in the clouds so often, her world was all her own. And… it is a reminder to each one of us ~ our world is our own…but in living day-to-day, we do share it with others. Maybe for the good, perhaps not for some, but always it is THIS LIFE NOW.

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So I ask this now… What dreams may come? What of YOUR DREAMS may come? What of OUR DREAMS do we manifest while we have this time on Earth? What are we doing to really DREAM? We dream to create, to take us somewhere new… or old. To create a business, a place to live, a voyage to take…

I daydream of Paris often. I daydream of a hike I took with our extended family in Lake Tahoe in the summertime – through an expansive field filled with flowers. It was like commercial for soap or some such. But it affected me so at the time that sometimes I go back there in my mind to figure out why. I daydream of Los Angeles when it was quiet. I daydream of a house one day I will live in with my own family. I dream to create on some level ~ To take me on a new journey. I dream to get stronger, to be at peace and to be not afraid.

So this morning, I send blessings and THANK YOUs and salutations to all who have made the journey before me – the crossing from the mundane to the EXTRAORDINARY. Who are the BRAVE ADVENTURERS.

Fly, be free! You are AWESOME and forever, are BLESSED BE!!

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Read Alicia Gargaro-Magana’s book ~ MISS FANCY PANTS