This past Saturday, my husband Eduardo and I enjoyed a lovely breakfast with friends at Zinc in downtown Los Angeles then went to visit the Grand Central Market. I love how it has flourished from when I wrote about it in 1996 for Los Angeles Magazine’s Best of L.A. issue. It was popular at the time, but in a more neighborhoody way. Egg Slut didn’t exist then, so there wasn’t a line going around the bend and all the way down Broadway. Our line at Sarita’s Pupuseria was thankfully shorter, but since they are individually hand-made to order, it probably took as long to finally walk out with them!
Walking in, however, I stopped in the middle of the rainy Broadway as I am want to do. It makes Ed crazy when I do that, but I had to take this photo. The message “DECIDE WHAT TO BE AND GO BE IT” – I needed to see that. I needed to be reminded. I wanted to share. It is simple. TAKE ACTION.
For years, Nike has told us to just do it. We know that, theoretically, but sometimes fear and whatnot seem to get in the way. Whatnot. It should be called ‘Wantnot” gets in the way. Why? I wonder? Why do we let it? Even I, who can be gripped daily with it during moments of change, I don’t know the answer to that question. But I know how to shake it off and take a deep breath and just say, “That’s false evidence appearing real. You can DO IT!”
I simply go back to my DESIRE. All great inventions of thought and writing start with desire. I have something to say. I have something to create. I want to share myself with another person. I desire to make change. I want my life to be more. Then just do it. Decide what to be and go be it. Take the steps. Make the call. In order to enter the establishment across the street, you have to actually – cross the street – to get there. Go across. Don’t be afraid. Probably best not to stop and take pictures while you’re at it, but I will say that it was a red light…but still. There are those who are not paying attention, who are not looking up and are not in full awareness. Therefore…those of us who are, are going to have to be extra vigilant to watch out for others while we make that stop, take that photo and of course, hug a friend who might be just on the other side, but be watchful at the same time.
I awoke contemplating the desire for manifestation. I published my first book this week. MISS FANCY PANTS is now out in the eWorld. It’s not in paperback yet, but I have a desire to bring it to that form. It takes a certain amount of money that I don’t have at the moment, but I will. It is here; it is coming. It will be and I will manifest that paperback so fast you won’t know what landed at your doorstep. I’ll drop them off at bookstores. I’ll send them to friends across seas. This moment I honor that my desire to make manifest has actually come to FRUITION. It is here MISS FANCY PANTS is here.
I started writing MISS FANCY PANTS in 2001, when I was a drunk, probably truly lonely gal. A friend reading my astrological chart said I needed to practice writing erotica. I went to the library to actually learn what that would look like. Lord child, that was not quite moi…but I could make it funny. I could take sex scenes and maybe spin them in a dreamy, funny way. My first draft had a amusing sex scene that’s no longer in the book because it was dated by the time I got to these last couple of years. I changed it up to something also charming I hope, but it felt more real in its imagination. As my character grew over the years, she became more real, less of a cartoon, so the opening is more of what my character would dream of today, not as she might have in 2001. When she was a drunk hot mess.
The character grows just as I did, in choosing to change my life. I became sober in 2002. I cleared my head and I had the desire to change and make manifest a more vibrant life for myself. I choose to share it with all of you. I am willing to tell my story in person, (the book is fiction – though, it would be fun to have those adventures too!). I speak in front of people. I am happy to tell you the good, the bad and the ugly of it all. And I will also share with you how I made manifest my desire. My desire for CHANGE.
And I have more desires and I have more stories. And I have CLARITY today. I had to DECIDE what to be: a WRITER. An AUTHOR, more precisely. I have written for years. I have been paid to write for magazines like Cooking Light and Los Angeles Times Magazine and various websites the past. I have written on the reality shows I produced. I have several screenplays. But as a PUBLISHED AUTHOR – this is a DESIRE MADE MANIFEST. And…I will do more. This is not all. This is just the beginning. Because I am excited that I have decided WHAT TO BE and I am going and BEING it!
I AM EXCITED! I wake up now and I say:
“I’m deciding what to be and I’m going and being it”
“I know I can accomplish what I dream of, I am doing it now.”
“Whether I think I can or I think I can’t, both are correct, so I KNOW I CAN!”
“I am grateful for my abilities to create what I dream.”
“I am thankful I have a dream.”
“I am grateful for all those who surround me and share their love and support”
“I am thankful for this marvelous new opportunity. Today is a new day!”
In which I can say,
“I make manifest my desire.”